Things don’t get off to the best of starts when two British lads embark on a new life in Hua Hin, Thailand. Although they are safely in the terminal building themselves another aeroplane has veered off course and narrowly misses the terminal building. The plane finally grinds to a halt after crashing into a fuel tanker. Their first nights’ accommodation was at the Miami Hotel in Sukhumvit road where female company joined them before they were even invited. A night on the town with the newly acquired ladies basically results in lost ladies, lost wallets and a nights kip by the street trash cans. Sleeping by the trash cans was due to a combination of a few things. Firstly, not knowing where they were, secondly, not knowing how to get back to their accommodation and finally having no money at all. The morning is a whole new ball game. Help from the British embassy after only one night was not the greatest situation to be in, but after a while, they were back at the hotel with the situation resolved. Hungover and slightly embarrassed, it was already time to leave Bangkok for the quieter life of the seaside resort of Hua Hin.
It didn’t take long before a business venture was discovered. The plan was to renovate an old property by dividing it up and renting out the space. Tenants weren’t hard to come by either. In a short space of time, they already had a Dutchman with a business venture of his own and two stunning French girls. Unfortunately, it turns out that the Dutchman isn’t the sort of tenant you need. He didn’t want to pay his rent, but he didn’t want to move out either. Furthermore, he kept company with some fairly dangerous friends. Which leads to the question of how do you get rid of an unwanted and irate Dutch tenant with undesirable friends?
One of the lads makes a wise decision to start learning Thai, but it’s not long before he starts falling in love with his Thai teacher. It’s difficult to give the language lessons your all when your teacher has a smile to melt an iceberg. An elderly English man has found true love with a bar girl who has a deep voice. The bar girl needs an operation and is hopeful that the English gentleman will pay for this. The English gent is old school – no sex before marriage. It’s a shame he’s so polite as the knowledge gained from the beginning that process could save him a nice tidy sum. This true love stuff can certainly mess with the mind.
Mad Mike is on to something when he gets help in setting up a tour business. His plan is to take tourists on day tours and overnight trips to Kaeng Krachan National Park to visit the wildlife. Why is he known as Mad Mike? Let’s just say that he’s fond of scientific experiments and lethal with chemistry equipment. To be honest, though, Mad Mike’s a pussy cat compared to his girlfriend Pat. She seems to suffer from mood swings. One minute she’s the sweetest, smartest creature you’d ever come across and the next she’s beating the living daylights out of you with a piece of timber.
Tours aren’t the easiest of businesses to run, especially when the interpreter goes sick just before the tour and you have to somehow scratch together a replacement. It’s also not great when the party are a group of punctual minded German people who like things just right and have virtually no knowledge of English. The finicky German tourist party end up being searched and questioned which was difficult with the language barrier. One minute you’re viewing wildlife and the next you’re being questioned down the police station.
The arrival of Camilla takes things to another level. Camilla is a self-assured blonde journalist in desperate need of a story. She’s a lady with one hell of an attitude but looks great in black leather on her black Honda motorcycle. Having said that, if some thought she looked great in that outfit, she knocked them dead after changing into the briefest bikini ever spotted on Hua Hin sand. Camilla was a journalist through and she was pushy. In pursuit of a story, she was like a dog with a bone and will trample over anyone to get it.
The plots a good one and it well and truly thickens. Mad Mike disappears without warning, a couple of Karen girls mysteriously enter and leave the fray and why was a middle-aged woman wildly swinging a samurai sword at people. Whilst taking a bath, Camilla receives an unwelcome male German guest who hasn’t actually arrived to add the bubble bath. His plan doesn’t actually come to fruition though, in fact, it’s quite the opposite. The plot may thicken, but so does the pot. So basically, throw in a bit of crazy medicine, add a few AK47’s blasting holes through office windows and give it all a nice big stir.
Being that I visit Hua Hin on a regular basis, it was nice to read something based in and around the area. On the whole, it was a really enjoyable read.
25 February 2018